


i never saw you coming, and i'll never be the same

by queenofallmedia



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 19:20:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29015748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenofallmedia/pseuds/queenofallmedia
Summary: Regina knew she deserved this - that she had to give up Henry, the thing she loved most, in order to stop Pan’s curse. She was all too familiar with losing what she loved most.What she was not prepared for, though, was the accompanying sharp pain in her chest when she had to say goodbye to Emma. It was at that moment that Regina realized the truth; what she had developed for Emma was more than just feelings. The prospect of losing Emma was one of the most painful things she had ever experienced. She never thought she would do this again, but somehow without even knowing it was happening, she had fallen in love with Emma Swan.She kept waiting for something to happen; the familiar feeling of magic indicating the disappearance of Storybrooke, the disorienting lurch of traveling across realms to wake up in the Enchanted Forest…But nothing happens.Sending Henry and Emma over the town line with new memories somehow caused a reset. The smoke cleared. Pan’s curse didn’t work. Storybrooke was still standing. And this time Regina was the victim of her own curse; she was left without the two people she loved most, who knew nothing of her existence and didn’t remember anything about their lives together.
Relationships: Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan
Comments: 19
Kudos: 82





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> the title of this fic comes from taylor swift's "state of grace." the acoustic/piano version of this song is so beautiful and is on my swan queen playlist.
> 
> also, this is kind of a love letter to New York, because i used to live there and it's been a while since i've been back, and i miss it.

_“You’re Henry’s birth mother?” Regina turned to the beautiful young blonde woman standing in front her in shock._  
_“Hi.” Emma shrugged sheepishly, seemingly at a loss for words._

Regina couldn’t deny that she was attracted to Emma from the moment they met. Back then when things were so simple, and she had no idea that this woman was about to walk into her life and change everything. They spent the better part of a year at each other’s throats; Regina determined to intimidate Emma into leaving town, and to Regina’s chagrin, Emma rising to meet her every challenge with one of her own. Granted, through all of the hatred and all of the bickering, there was an undeniable tension beneath every threat.

_“You have no idea what I am capable of.”_

Regina remembered their early days fondly, with the fiery blonde always having a quick retort, always getting up in Regina’s face. More than once, she caught Emma staring at her lips or her breasts during their bouts of verbal sparring. Regina leaned into it, enjoying flirting with Miss Swan immensely, but never really thinking too much about it. For her part, Emma became more brazen as Regina did, their interactions graduating from stolen glances in the heat of the moment to barely concealed innuendos, even in front of other people.

_“Enjoy my shirt, because that’s all you’re getting.”_

_“Miss Swan, you will sit down immediately, or so help me.”_  
_“Or what, you’ll punish me?”_

_“I didn’t come for dinner."_  
_"Then what did you come for?”_  
_“You.”_

But nothing ever happened, and Regina was certain it never would. It was obvious that Emma could feel the sexual tension between them too, and Regina figured that maybe fighting with her turned Emma on the way it did for Regina, but Emma never acted beyond words. Occasionally Regina would catch Emma checking her out when she thought Regina wasn’t looking, but that was as far as it ever went. As time went on, their relationship became slightly less antagonistic, and they learned to tolerate each other, mostly for Henry’s sake. Their relationship was tenuous at best, but that didn’t stop Emma from actually taking Regina’s side on more than one occasion.

_“What is she doing here?”_  
_“I invited her.”_

_“I know her. I believe her.”_

Regina refused to think too much about this.

The first time Emma and Regina did magic together, it was inadvertently. Regina was trying to make Jefferson’s hat work, but her magic alone wasn’t enough. Then Emma touched her arm, and a surge of magic channeled through her fingers to activate the portal. Regina didn’t yet know then that Emma had magic, but she had certainly felt something. She tried to chalk it up to her being the Savior, and certainly not that they had any sort of connection. Yet, it lingered in the back of her mind.

And when she learned that Emma could use magic, her mind immediately flickered back to that moment with the hat. Still in denial that it could possibly mean something, Regina again attributed it to the fact that Emma was the Savior, and at the time her potential was untapped, and that was her first interaction with a magical object, so it was only natural for her magic to interact with Regina’s, and that this interaction caused enough power to restart the hat.

Regina fully allowed herself to believe this line of thinking. That is, until the mines.

_“You may not be strong enough. But maybe we are.”_

Emma raised her eyebrows at Regina and before Regina even knew what she was doing, Emma laid her hands over the diamond trigger and joined her magic with Regina’s. The sensation immediately shot warmth throughout Regina’s body, and she could feel Emma, feel her magic, coursing throughout her body. She wondered if Emma could feel it too. She made eye contact with Emma, which only served to intensify the feeling, and a familiar heat rushed between Regina’s legs that for once, she was unable to explain away.

After that, Regina’s denial about the lust she felt for Emma vanished, and she allowed herself only the occasional late-night fantasy of Emma. But still that’s all she thought it was, an itch that could never be scratched, but nothing more. The itch became all that much harder to deal with in Neverland, with Emma parading around with those biceps on display while the disgusting _pirate_ ogled her. Still, Emma (and those arms) were a good distraction; a daydream she allowed herself to indulge in to keep her sanity while they came up with a plan to save Henry.

Before she knew it, _my son_ became _our son_ , and Emma and Regina quickly realized that they were actually a really good team, when Regina started to suspect there was something beyond lust that she was in denial about. Somehow, someway, she had developed _actual feelings_ for Emma Swan. The mother of her child. The Savior to her curse. It would almost be laughable if it wasn’t so terrifying.

But Regina didn’t have very much time to process this new development, because before they knew it, Pan had cursed Storybrooke, and Regina was forced to say goodbye to Henry and Emma while she had to return to the Enchanted Forest.

_“My gift to you is good memories. A good life for you and Henry. You’ll have never given him up. You’ll have always been together.”_

It took everything in Regina not to cry as she hugged Henry goodbye for the last time. She looked at Emma and saw her lip quiver as she explained the gift she was giving them.

Regina knew she deserved this - that she had to give up Henry, the thing she loved most, in order to stop Pan’s curse. She was all too familiar with losing what she loved most. What she was not prepared for, though, was the accompanying sharp pain in her chest when she had to say goodbye to Emma. It was at that moment that Regina realized the truth; what she had developed for Emma was more than just feelings. The prospect of losing Emma was one of the most painful things she had ever experienced. She never thought she would do this again, but somehow without even knowing it was happening, she had fallen in love with Emma Swan.

\---

She kept waiting for something to happen; the familiar feeling of magic indicating the disappearance of Storybrooke, the disorienting lurch of traveling across realms to wake up in the Enchanted Forest…But nothing happens.

Sending Henry and Emma over the town line with new memories somehow caused a reset. The smoke cleared. Pan’s curse didn’t work. Storybrooke was still standing. And this time Regina was the victim of her own curse; she was left without the two people she loved most, who knew nothing of her existence and didn’t remember anything about their lives together.


	2. Chapter 2

Regina tried to settle back into life as Mayor of Storybrooke, but her heart wasn’t in it. This town only held pain for her now that Emma and Henry were gone, and she found herself wishing she _had_ been transported back to the Enchanted Forest. At least then she wouldn’t have to be in the same realm as them, knowing they were out there somewhere, probably only a few hours away. Close, but unreachable. 

A year to the day after they leave, Regina makes the decision to go looking for them. She justifies it to herself by promising that she won’t interact with them - she just wanted to see them from afar, that’s all. See how much Henry’s grown. See that they’re doing well. See that they’re happy. 

After a good deal of searching for “Henry Swan” on Google, Regina finds his name listed as an honor roll student in a private school in New York City. New York is remarkably huge, and she’s not even sure that this is HER Henry, and Regina doesn’t really know where to start. But before she can talk herself out of it, she books a room at a hotel near the school she found online. She doesn’t want to be a huge creep and lurk around outside his school or anything remotely that stalker-ish, so she decides that while she’s there, she’ll explore a bit of the city – see some famous sights, go to some restaurants, do a little shopping, maybe even see a Broadway show. If this really is where Henry and Emma are, even if she doesn’t ever come across them (and Regina knows this is the most likely scenario), she feels like being in New York might make her feel close to them somehow. If she could see some things that they see on a daily basis, it might make her feel a little less alone. Regina decides that two weeks is plenty of time to stay in New York, and if she hasn’t run into them by the two weeks is up, she will leave.

When she arrives in New York City, Regina is overwhelmed by the sights and the sounds. She checks into her hotel, neatly puts away her clothes in the closet and the dresser and looks out the window at the city that never sleeps to find lights flashing, sirens blaring, and cars honking incessantly. She feels overwhelmed, and ridiculous that coming here would make her feel close to Henry and Emma in any way. There are 8 million people who live in this city; how foolish could she have been to think she could find them here? Nonetheless, she decided to head to bed early and wake up in the morning and try to enjoy her two weeks the best that she could.

Regina wakes up the next morning and decides she’ll start her day with getting breakfast at a nearby café. She asks the concierge at her hotel about somewhere nearby that has good coffee, and he directs her a couple blocks away. When she gets there, she’s pleasantly surprised to find a rather quaint little coffeehouse that wasn’t overly crowded – she hadn’t expected to find someplace like this in Manhattan. 

Regina orders herself a latte and a croissant for breakfast and situates herself at a small table in the corner and pulls out a book from her bag. Eventually she gets lost in her book, and she doesn’t know much time passes, but she realizes her mug is empty. She decides that it’s time to head back to the hotel and figure out where to go for her first day – she wants to go shopping, and mentally makes a list of a few stores she’d like to go to. Regina is about to place her empty ceramic mug into a small basket next to the counter where restaurant patrons are meant to deposit their used dishes, when she hears Emma’s voice. Regina’s stomach drops and her heart pounds at the sound and the mug slips right out of her hand as she turns to face the beautiful blonde woman who didn’t know she existed. It had been a year since Regina had seen her last, and she looks just like she did on the day when Henry first dragged her to 108 Mifflin Street on her 28th birthday– long, curly blonde hair, tight, painted on jeans, and her signature red leather jacket. The shattering of the mug causes Emma to turn to face her, and Regina is breathless and frozen like a deer in headlights as Emma’s eyes meet her own. 


	3. Chapter 3

It’s a Friday morning, and Emma stops at her favorite café for her usual - a mug of hot cocoa (with cinnamon on top) and a bear claw. She has tried just about every café on the West side, and this one has the _very best_ bear claws, Emma’s favorite pastry. She’d gotten to know the staff here very well over the years, and she always looks forward to seeing them.

She had just greeted the cashier and asked for her usual when she hears the shattering of a mug. The sound of glass crashing momentarily triggers her fight or flight response, and her head snaps over to the source of the noise. To her surprise, staring back at her is the most drop-dead gorgeous woman Emma has ever laid eyes on, staring back at her wide-eyed. Emma’s facial expression immediately softens, “I’m so sorry, did I bump into you? Let me help.” Without a second thought, Emma takes a step closer to her.

“No, I…” The brunette starts, bending down at the exact same time as Emma does to start picking up the pieces. Their heads bump into each other lightly and Emma apologies again, “Oh god, I am _so_ clumsy, I’m so sorry!”

The other woman shakes her head lightly, “No, it’s not your fault.” She had a sad smile on her face. The women plucked the ceramic shards from the floor and placed them into the wastebasket. Emma couldn’t help herself from stealing glances at the brunette. A strand of hair fell in front of her face and Emma felt a ridiculous urge to reach across and tuck it back in behind her ear. She wrote it off as the two women finished cleaning the mess and stood at the same time. 

The brunette stood there for a second, wringing her hands nervously like she didn’t know what to do next. Emma felt a sudden pang of sadness at the thought of this beautiful woman leaving without Emma even knowing her name. She decided to take her chance.

“Hey, can I buy you a new drink?” The brunette lifted a perfectly manicured eyebrow toward Emma at that, looking surprised. She glanced toward the door, then back at the blonde. She almost looked like she was contemplating bolting out the door. “Unless you have somewhere to be…?”

The stranger shook her head, “I’m here on vacation, actually. Nowhere to be.” She offered her a sad smile. “But…I’m not usually in the habit of accepting drinks from strangers,” she admitted.

At that, Emma stuck her hand out to offer it in a handshake. “Emma Swan. Now I’m not a stranger.” She grinned.

The brunette bit her bottom lip in a smirk, but offered her hand for Emma to take nonetheless. “Em-ma.” She repeated the blonde’s name, gazing at her with a strange look in her eyes that Emma couldn’t quite place. “I’m Regina Mills.” Emma felt a tingling sensation in her stomach as she grasped Regina’s hand, and the brunette nodded, seemingly accepting her offer. 

Emma beamed as Regina nodded towards her table in the corner, where she’d left her coat and bag. She starts to walk in that direction when Emma lightly touches her arm, inquiring what she’d been drinking. Regina responds that she had a latte, and she’d love another. “Can I get you a pastry to go with that? Their bear claws here are _to die for._ ” Regina smiled softly and nodded. Emma grabbed both of their drinks, and a bag with their bear claws, and followed Regina back to her table.

-xxx-

Emma, ever the Savior (even when she’s not), began helping Regina pick up the pieces of her mess. They bent down at the same time and the familiar scent of Emma’s perfume invaded her senses. Regina had to wonder if this was elaborate dream. She noticed her hands shaking slightly as she tried to clean up. How was it possible that she’d run into Emma on her first day here, at the first place she stopped?

She knew she shouldn’t be interacting with her, that it would only cause her pain. Seeing Emma was the whole purpose of coming here, but she _really_ thought it would be at a distance. She was practically at a loss for words. She wasn’t sure whether cleaning up the mess took a matter of minutes or hours, but when she stood up and Emma was looking at her, she felt a rising panic inside her chest. And then, out of nowhere, Emma asked to buy her a drink. 

She glanced at the door in a moment of sheer panic, half considering just bolting out of there and returning straight back to Maine. The brunette knew she shouldn’t do this, and yet, Emma Swan was standing in front of her, asking to spend time with her, after Regina had spent an entire year only dreaming of ever seeing her again. Regina couldn’t refuse. She admitted to Emma that she had no plans and allowed her to buy her another latte. Regina could barely suppress her grin at Emma’s insistence upon getting her a bear claw, again unable to refuse an offer from the woman she loved.

The two returned to the table Regina had been sitting at beforehand. Emma took a bite of her bear claw and practically moaned, causing Regina’s cheeks to tint pink slightly. “Sorry,” Emma offered, “I’m obsessed with these things. I’ve tried literally every café on the West side, and this place has the best, hands down.”

She waited for to Regina take a bite, whose eyes widened as she swallowed. “Wow, you’re not kidding. These are _so_ much better than the ones at the local diner in my town,” Regina admitted. She took a sip of her latte. “And the coffee here is delicious, as well.”

Emma nodded solemnly, “I’m not a coffee drinker, but I’m not surprised. This place is my go-to.” She took a sip of her own hot chocolate. “So, you’re here on vacation? What brought you to New York? Are you visiting someone?” Emma asked.

Regina smiled softly as Emma questioned her and shook her head. She didn’t know what to say, but she was a quick thinker, and decided to tell Emma at least some of the truth. She didn’t have anything to lose. “No, I don’t know a soul here actually. I just…needed a change of scenery.” Emma waited for her to elaborate. Regina fiddled with a bracelet on her wrist. “About a year ago, someone who I cared about very much walked out of my life. I’ve spent the past year kind of lost, and thought getting out of town and taking a trip might help me move on.”

Emma’s eyebrows furrowed. “I’m really sorry, Regina.” She hesitated, and then asked. “Was he your husband? Boyfriend?” 

Regina chuckled. “No, nothing like that. I mean, we were never together. We were…friends. I guess. Kind of. Anyway, I never even got a chance to tell her how I felt about her before she had to leave.” She blushed and laid all her cards on the table with that one.

Emma’s posture straightened a little bit at hearing Regina’s use of the word ‘her.’ “That’s almost worse. Not knowing what might have been.” Emma agreed. “But you didn’t stay in touch?”

Regina shook her head, waving her hand through the air. “No, she’s gone. She’s practically on the opposite side of the world. It doesn’t matter, anyway. There was this… _man_ …interested in her. It would never have worked between us,” she heaved with a big sigh, declining to elaborate. “And I need to figure out how to get over her. Hence, my trip here.”

Emma smiled softly. “I’m sorry you lost her, Regina. But… _man_ or not, if she couldn’t see the amazing woman right in front of her, she was stupid, and it was her loss.” 

Regina looked up, blinking back unshed tears, protesting, “Well, that’s kind, Emma, but you don’t even _know_ me.” 

Emma reached out to lay a hand gently on Regina’s. “No, but I’d like to,” she said earnestly. 

Regina cheeks flushed a deep shade of red, and she quickly sucked in a breath and held it, looking down at the table. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. The blonde’s ears tinted red and she looked away, quickly changed the subject. “I can’t believe you came all the way here without knowing _anyone_ in New York. How long are you staying? What are you planning to do while you’re here?”

Regina was grateful for the change in topic. “I booked a hotel for two weeks. I don’t really have any plans…just some shopping, some sight-seeing, going to a Broadway show. The usual tourist stuff.” She shrugged.

“Well.” Emma puffed up her chest. “That sounds nice, but everybody knows you don’t get to see the best parts of New York unless a real New Yorker shows you around.”

Regina raised an eyebrow. “Is that so, Miss Swan?” She started feeling a warmth and a tightness in her chest at the prospect of seeing Emma again. 

Emma grinned at the nickname. “Yes. Maybe you could let me take you to some of my favorite places in the city?” 

When Regina first accepted the drink, she did so under the impression that Emma was just being kind, and that she’d never see her again after today. But Emma...actually wanted to spend time with her? “That sounds lovely, Em-ma.”

The blonde grinned and fished her cell phone out of her pocket. She added Regina’s number to her phone. “My Friday nights are reserved for spending time with my son, but I’m free tomorrow evening if you’d like to get a drink with me.” She checked the time. “Oh crap. I’m really sorry, Regina, but I have to get back to work. I’ll call you tomorrow afternoon with details about tomorrow night, if that works for you?” 

Regina was practically paralyzed at the mention of Henry. She forced herself to nod. “Drinks sound great. I’m looking forward to it. Thank you, Emma.” Regina reached for her coat and Emma cleaned up their mugs and plates. The two headed out of the café together, parting ways with the promise of reuniting tomorrow.

Regina headed back to her hotel, her world turned upside down.


	4. Chapter 4

Back in her hotel room, Regina paced the floor back and forth. She came to the city with the intention of seeing Emma and Henry, but seeing her so soon, and actually interacting with her, caught her off guard. All of the feelings that Regina had worked so hard to suppress over the last year had come rushing back in full force the second she had heard Emma’s voice. She finally acknowledged that she’d been kidding herself with the idea that if she ever ran into Emma or Henry, that she’d actually be able to stay away.

Laying back on her hotel room bed, images of the blonde flooded Regina’s mind. She recounted their interaction earlier that morning; seeing Emma’s face for the first time…Emma asking to buy her a drink…Emma admitting she’d tried a bear claw from every café on the West side to find the perfect bear claw…Emma saying she’d like to get to know her and inviting her to get drinks…Emma mentioning _Henry_.

Regina was _dying_ to see him, but she highly doubted that Emma would introduce her to Henry within the next 2 weeks. That is, if Emma even wanted to see Regina again after drinks; she wasn’t entirely convinced that Emma meant it when she offered to show her around the city. At least, Emma _better_ not be introducing their son to random strangers she just met. Regina wondered idly if Emma had a boyfriend, and whether Henry had met him. Anger flared inside her just at the thought, and she shook her head, trying to wish those thoughts away.

Regina decided she’d spend the rest of the day shopping, determined to pick out a few different outfits. She had no idea where Emma would want to get drinks, but she wanted to be prepared in case it was somewhere classy. _Who am I kidding,_ she thought to herself, _this is Emma we’re talking about, it’ll probably be a dive bar._ And if that was the case, Regina didn’t exactly have anything appropriate for that either. She should probably buy a pair of jeans so she didn’t ruin any of her nice clothes in some disgusting beer joint that Emma would likely take.

She headed out to shop, trying (and failing) not to be too excited about tomorrow’s drinks.

Regina returned to her hotel some hours later, carrying several bags of clothes. She’d honestly lost track of time while shopping; she hadn’t really done much of it in this world since when she woke up in Storybrooke after enacting the curse, her closet had already been filled with clothes. Clothes she grew to love, of course, but as a result, she hadn’t much diversified her wardrobe – she hadn’t much had a need or an opportunity to do so.

Among the items Regina had purchased was a pair of ripped skinny jeans and heeled boots, a classic little black dress, and a V-neck cocktail dress the color of red wine with strappy black heels. While she had been shopping for them and trying them on, Regina couldn’t help but picture Emma’s face as she saw her in each of them.

After the excellent café recommendation from her hotel concierge, Regina again asked the man for a good Italian restaurant nearby, and went there for a quiet dinner. She headed back to her hotel after dinner and went to bed early, eagerly anticipating the next day.

\---

Regina awoke early the next day. She wanted to keep herself occupied in the morning and decided to do a little walking around the city and hit a few touristy spots on her list. First up was the New York Public Library, which Regina had passed the day before while shopping on 5th Ave. She ended up spending a few hours wandering the library, admiring the gorgeous architecture, people watching, and of course, reading. She grabbed takeout from a nearby restaurant and sat down on a bench in Bryant Park, absentmindedly watching the hustle and bustle of people passing by, when her phone rang, and Emma’s name and picture flashed on her screen. Before picking it up, Regina mentally noted to remove Emma’s contact picture in case the blonde woman somehow saw it that night.

“Hello?” Regina answered the phone, trying to make her voice sound casual, although she was feeling anything but.

“Regina? It’s Emma Swan, from the café yesterday.”

“Hi, Emma.” Regina immediately burst into a genuine smile at hearing the other woman’s voice.

“How was your first night in New York?” Emma asked.

“It was quite nice, thank you.” Regina replied.

“I’m glad to hear that. Are you still free tonight? I mean, do you still want to get drinks with me tonight?” Emma sounded nervous, as though Regina might have changed her mind or something.

“Yes, I would. What did you have in mind?” Regina nearly held her breath, wondering what kind of a place Emma would bring her.

“There’s this really great place fairly close to the café, it’s called the Flatiron Room. Have you heard of it?”

“I haven’t, Miss Swan. This is my first time in New York, remember?” Regina replied.

“Right, sorry, I knew that.” Emma sounded flustered. “Well, they have a lot of great scotches, and they even have live jazz music. It’s pretty quaint. I think you’ll like it there. How does it sound?”

“That sounds absolutely delightful, Em-ma.” Regina was pleasantly surprised. It really did sound very nice.

“Excellent. Does 7 o’clock tonight work for you?”

“Yes, that sounds perfect.” Regina looked at her watch; she had only a couple of hours to kill before then. “I’ll meet you there?”

“I’m looking forward to it.”

“Me, too. I’ll see you at 7 tonight then.” Regina and Emma said their goodbyes, and Regina felt butterflies in her stomach after she hung up. She briefly Googled the Flatiron Room and saw that Emma described it quite well. It was moderately fancy, and she decided to pack up her stuff and head back to the hotel so she could grab something to eat first, pick out an outfit and get ready.


	5. Chapter 5

Emma arrived at the Flatiron Room fifteen minutes early. She wasn’t exactly known for her punctuality, but she went out of her way to get there early so as not to disappoint Regina before she’d even gotten a chance to know her. She seemed like a woman who valued punctuality.

She almost never went on dates (and she really wasn’t sure whether this qualified as one), but she’d been to the Flatiron Room a couple of times over the years with some friends from work, enjoying the jazz music and the comfy atmosphere as much as she enjoyed the scotch. It wasn’t her typical kind of bar, but she really wanted to impress Regina. Butterflies rose up in Emma’s stomach as she waited for the enchanting, beautiful woman she’d met yesterday, still feeling lucky that she had randomly wandered into her café and allowed Emma to buy her a coffee (and even more lucky that Regina had agreed to go out for drinks with her).

Emma had opted to dress up in black slacks and an emerald silk button-down; she _had_ wanted to impress Regina, after all, and she was sure that this was _not_ an appropriate occasion for her signature red-leather jacket and skinny jeans, no matter how much she might love them. She fiddled with her necklace nervously as she stood outside the bar, waiting for Regina.

Before she knew it, a cab pulled up and Emma’s jaw practically dropped open when she saw Regina. The brunette was wearing a classic little black dress, and she looked absolutely stunning. Regina’s hazel eyes sparkled when she looked into Emma’s, and it took Emma’s breath away.

“Regina, you look…” Emma struggled to find the right word, allowing her eyes to rake down Regina’s body and back up again. “Absolutely breathtaking.”

Despite Regina’s smirk, Emma could swear she saw Regina’s cheeks tint the slightest shade of pink. “You clean up quite nice, yourself, Miss Swan.” Regina appreciatively looked Emma up and down in return.

The pair entered the bar and Emma led Regina to a table in the corner. The live music hadn’t started yet, and there was a low murmur among the other customers. It was a rather intimate setting. A waitress came over immediately after they sat down, and Regina ordered a glass of red wine to start, while Emma ordered a beer.

“So, what did you do with your first couple days in the city?” Emma started the conversation as she took a sip of her beer.

“Well, yesterday I did a little shopping and had dinner at this lovely little Italian restaurant. This morning I went down to the New York Public Library, and then walked around and sat at Bryant Park for a bit. I have to admit the sheer number of people in this city is a little overwhelming, although exhilarating. The diversity here is astounding…I lost count of the number of different languages I overheard. I’ve never seen anything like it.” Regina confided in Emma.

“Yeah, it’s a lot.” Emma nodded. “I’ve lived in so many different places, but New York is really one-of-a-kind. I’ve gotten used to it, though, living here for so many years. So, I take it you’re not from a big city?” Emma raised her eyebrow as she took another sip of her beer.

“Not at all.” Regina shook her head. “I’m from a small town on the coast of Maine. Our population is only a couple thousand people.” She chuckled.

“I’ve heard coastal Maine is beautiful.” Emma pondered as she took another sip of her beer. “I think the closest I’ve ever gotten to Maine is Boston. Have you been there?”

“No, I haven’t really had much opportunity to travel outside Storybrooke until now.” Regina admitted.

“Storybrooke, huh? That’s a pretty funny name for a town. And what do you do there, in this Storybrooke?” Emma’s eyes glinted as she spoke.

“I’m the mayor.” Regina shrugged and took another sip of her wine.

“No kidding?” Emma practically choked on the sip of beer she was drinking. “That’s actually really cool. And all this time I’ve been so informal. I apologize, Madame Mayor.” Emma nodded her head playfully.

Regina suddenly looked up at her in an expression that was somewhere between shock and awe. It disappeared from her face as fast as it had appeared, replaced by a smirk.

\---

For all of Regina’s nervousness about what the night would bring, Emma had done what she always had managed to do; make Regina feel both comfortable and elated at the same time. Their banter was easy, with none of the tension that had plagued their real first interactions, when Henry had brought Emma to Storybrooke. Well, _most_ of the tension, anyway.

From the time Regina exited the car and saw the blonde looking striking in an expensive-looking shirt that brought out her green eyes, Regina was transfixed. If Emma’s reaction to seeing Regina was anything to go by, she’d say that Emma was attracted to her too.

They were almost done with their first round of drinks when Emma called her _Madame Mayor_.

Regina felt an old but familiar rush of heat that went straight between her legs at hearing Emma use the title she had always used for Regina in those early days. Back when all of their interactions were push-and-pull but with an undeniable underlying sexual tension that neither of them ever directly acknowledged. And how could they? Back then, they were always fighting over Henry. _And also, she’s the daughter of your greatest enemy_ , Regina reminded herself. Regina forced herself to snap out of her reverie.

“So, what do _you_ do for a job, Miss Swan?” Emma had called the waitress over to order a second round of drinks for the pair.

“I’m a security guard.” Emma grinned. “At the Met.” 

Regina’s eyes widened. “I’ve heard it’s amazing there. The Met is actually pretty close to the top of my list of things to see while I’m here. Do you like working there?”

“I love it.” Emma confessed. “And so does my son, Henry. He’s really into history, and I get free tickets to the museum. Somehow, he’s never gotten sick of visiting. We always go see the new exhibits on the first day they open.” She got that smile on her face that Regina had grown to recognize as one that meant she was proud of Henry. “He’s almost a teenager, but he’s still such a good kid. Not at all embarrassed to spend his free time with his Mom at a museum. I have no idea how I got so lucky with him.”

Regina gulped down a too-big sip of wine when Emma brought up Henry. Thankfully Emma didn’t notice. Regina was happy to hear that he was doing well, and that Emma spent time doing educational, but fun, activities with him. But it also made her deeply sad, thinking about the year she had missed in his life. “Henry was my father’s name.” Regina said quietly and smiled at the blonde. “And it sounds less like luck, and more like good parenting.” She added.

“It’s a great name.” Emma smiled wistfully, clearly still thinking about Henry. “I guess I’ve done alright for Henry and myself as a single mom.” She conceded. “Hey, since it was on your list, maybe I could take you to the Met next weekend? I know pretty much every inch of that place, so I could give you a personal tour.”

“You would really do that?” Regina looked at the blonde in awe.

“It’d be my pleasure, Madame Mayor.” Emma winked.

\---

The time flew by with the two women getting to know each other. A few drinks in, the band began setting up, and the women had switched to drinking scotch. It was strong, but Regina wasn’t sure how much of her lightheadedness had to do with the alcohol, and how much had to do with spending time with Emma in a way she had never imagined possible.

Without warning, Emma candidly looked at Regina and asked, “I know this is going to sound crazy, but there’s something really familiar about you. I can’t put my finger on it, but it feels like I know you, somehow. I know you’ve never been to New York, and I’ve never been to Maine, but there’s just something about you, Regina.”

A shadow of something Emma couldn’t quite place crossed over Regina’s face. “Maybe in another universe.” The brunette shrugged, seeming almost sad, before taking a long sip of her drink.

Regina doesn’t fail to notice that the more Emma has to drink, the more she flirts with Regina. Early on in the night, Regina leans into it, allowing herself to bask in these feelings she’s had for Emma. Feelings that for years have boiled just under the surface, were suddenly overflowing.

But the freedom and excitement she feels flirting with Emma is also accompanied by an extreme amount of guilt, knowing that it’s not really fair to Emma. _This_ Emma isn’t _her_ Emma – she doesn’t really know Regina, no matter what sense of strange familiarity she might think she feels. She doesn’t know everything Regina’s _done_. What she’s done to _Emma_.

The band started playing, and it made talking without shouting nearly impossible, so the women fell into a comfortable silence listening to the music and drinking their scotch, occasionally catching each other’s eye and smiling. Regina tried desperately to remain in the present, but the intense feelings of remorse at her ruse overwhelmed her.

Regina had let herself get lost for a night with Emma Swan, imagining what could have been had they met under different circumstances. Had Emma not been Henry’s birth mother. Had she not been Snow White and Prince Charming’s daughter. Had Regina not been the Evil Queen. Had she not cast the curse. Had Emma not been the Savior.

_No._ Regina mentally rebuked herself. _Emma is all of those things, and that’s why I fell in love with her - for everything that she is._ Regina also acknowledged that without Henry, without the curse, without _Emma_ – Regina wouldn’t be who _she_ is today, either. And despite all the terrible things Regina had done in her life, she was finally growing into a person she could almost like.

Halfway through the set, the band took a break. Regina seized her opportunity to tell Emma she was feeling tired and that she should probably head home. Emma, always chivalrous, insists on walking Regina back to her hotel, because she’s new to New York, and Emma knows her way around and Regina doesn’t, and Regina doesn’t know how to argue with that logic.

The pair said goodnight in front of Regina’s hotel. Emma’s eyes sparkled in the moonlight, and Regina desperately held back the lump in her throat.

“Thank you, Em-ma, for a truly lovely evening.”

“It really was my pleasure, Regina. I hope we can do it again sometime. I meant it about the tour of the Met next weekend, if you’re still interested.”

“I am. I would like that very much.” Regina suddenly reached for Emma’s hand and gave it a quick squeeze. “Goodnight, Emma. Get home safe.”

“Night, Regina.” Emma nodded and Regina headed back into her hotel.

Regina went inside and exhaled a big breath. Back in her hotel room, she crawled into bed and finally let the tears she had been frantically holding back fall. She couldn’t remember the last time she cried like this. She couldn’t remember the last time she cried, _period_. Regina knew that she was in WAY over her head.


	6. Chapter 6

Regina woke up the next morning with a headache. It was no wonder, between the alcohol she drank with Emma and the fact that she cried herself to sleep. Rolling over to grab her phone and how late she’d slept, Regina she saw she had a text from Emma. Checking what time it was sent, she found Emma had texted her last night after they parted. 

_I had a really great time with you tonight, Regina. I know your reason for coming to New York was not exactly a happy one, but I have to be honest…I’m really glad you came. And that you wandered into my coffee shop. :) Goodnight, Madame Mayor._

Regina’s heart swelled at the sweet text from Emma. But the feelings of elation quickly devolved into feelings of shame. And just like that, Regina fell headfirst back into her drunken thought spiral from last night.

She felt wrong for using Emma like this, allowing Emma to think Regina was someone she was not. When she decided to come to New York, Regina really hadn’t wanted to interfere in Emma’s life like this. But now that she’d seen her, now that she’d _met_ her, Regina doesn’t know if she could just go back home to Storybrooke and pretend like this didn’t happen. And judging by her interactions with Emma yesterday, where Emma _blatantly checked her out,_ Regina doesn’t know what to do. This _thing_ was always there with them, before it became this insufferable heartache – the banter, the flirting, the checking each other out when they thought the other one wasn’t looking (and sometimes even when they knew they were).

For the millionth time, Regina mentally revisited the first time they had met, when Henry had dragged Emma to her doorstep. Regina had been physically sick with worry when he had run away, spending the day frantically searching for him and screaming at Graham for being useless. And then before she knew it, this beautiful blonde bombshell had showed up in front of her house. Regina certainly hadn’t expected _that_.

Regina remembered her instant attraction to the blonde and how desperately she’d tried to bury it by fighting with Emma about anything and everything. But then came the incident at the mines. Regina had been terrified of Emma’s presence in Henry’s life. Even before Emma, Regina never knew when she woke up that date whether Henry would love her or hate her. After Emma’s arrival, Regina became increasingly concerned and insisted that Archie crush the idea of the curse from Henry’s “overactive imagination.” An unfortunate consequence of Regina’s fear was that she had pushed Henry into trying to find proof and put himself in danger. Regina blamed herself, as she always did, and took her anger and panic out on Emma, as she had grown accustomed to doing in the few weeks Emma had been in Storybrooke.

But Emma sensed Regina’s vulnerability, and rather than exploit it that time, she had softened and become vulnerable herself. She acknowledged to Regina that they needed to stop fighting and asked her what she wanted the mayor to do. _Help me,_ was all Regina had said. (And Emma _had_. So many times, and in so many ways since.) That was the first time they had worked together. Regina wanted to be lowered into the mines to find Henry, insisting she be the one to do it because _he’s my son._ But Emma had come back with _he’s my son, too_ , and offered to do it because Regina had been sitting behind a desk for 10 years. At the unexpectedly soft pleading from Emma, Regina had momentarily lost her cool. For weeks she had been tampering down her growing attraction to Emma, and in that moment, Regina’s sudden overwhelming desire to kiss the blonde had almost gotten the better of her, but she caught herself just in time.

After that first time that they worked together, and Regina unexpectedly found that they had been better together than apart, the brunette had found it increasingly difficult to return to her denial. She _wanted_ Emma, but she knew she couldn’t have her. Emma was too good for Regina, and Regina had always known this. Emma was the Savior; Regina had been the Evil Queen. And so, she had become an expert in resisting the blonde. And the more Regina got to know Emma, the harder it got.

Regina shook herself from her reverie and remembered last night. Regina was growing increasingly tired of trying so hard to resist Emma Swan. Especially seeing this new side of her. Emma without walls was someone Regina had never met until now, and she couldn’t help but fall even harder. She looked back at the text Emma had sent her. The woman was _sweet_. She had wanted to kiss her last night. Regina knew deceiving Emma was wrong, but she couldn’t stop herself from wanting it anyway. At least she had the decency to squeeze Emma’s hand and step away from her before she had attempted to kiss her.

Regina closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and contemplated her response. She picked up her phone, typing out a reply.

_Emma, I’m sorry I didn’t see your text before I went to bed. In the spirit of honesty, I had more fun last night than I have in quite a long time. I’m glad I stumbled into “your” café, too, Miss Swan._

Regina got out of bed, needing to distract herself after that show of vulnerability. She couldn’t help feeling nervous, despite a firm belief that _this_ Emma would never exploit her for showing weakness. She had no reason to. She was just a stranger to _this_ Emma, not her child’s adoptive mother.

\---

Regina spent the next few days visiting places on her list. Emma texted her once or twice a day, checking in to see how she’d been enjoying New York. Regina’s heart fluttered every time her phone buzzed. The pair would exchange a handful of texts, and Emma would often give Regina restaurant suggestions based on where she had told the blonde she’d been planning to go. Regina was pleasantly surprised that they weren’t all greasy burger joints (not to say that she didn’t enjoy one of those). To Regina’s delight, there was one place that Emma recommended this kale salad that Regina had absolutely _loved_. She idly wondered if _this_ Emma’s taste in healthier food was due to the memories Regina had given her. She knew _her_ Emma wasn’t the world’s greatest cook, but she’d have all the memories of the healthy and delicious meals Regina had fed Henry growing up.

While Regina enjoyed their texting conversations, she’d been dying to see the blonde again. On Wednesday morning, she decided to call Emma to ask if she had plans during her lunch break today, and whether she’d want to have lunch with Regina. Emma answered on the first ring.

“Good morning, Madame Mayor! To what do I owe the pleasure?” Regina could practically hear Emma grinning as she answered the phone.

“Miss Swan.” Regina found herself wearing a matching smile at hearing Emma’s enthusiasm. “I hope you’re doing well. I wanted to thank you for all the restaurant recommendations over the past few days. I never would’ve found some of those places on my own.”

“It was no problem at all. If there’s one thing I’m an expert at, it’s finding delicious food.” Emma laughed, and the sound was music to Regina’s ears. Regina chuckled in response.

“I was wondering whether you had a lunch break today, and if so, if you’d let me take you out to lunch.” Regina steeled herself and held her breath as she waited for Emma’s response.

“Really? That sounds amazing, Regina. Unfortunately, my lunch break is short – only a half hour - but I’d really like to see you.”

“You would?” Regina replied quietly.

“Yes, I would.” Emma responded confidently. Regina felt her cheeks redden slightly.

“In that case, what time is your break? I’ll bring lunch to you.”

“That sounds perfect. My break starts at noon. I’ll meet you on the steps of the museum?” Emma replied. “I can’t wait to see you.” Regina’s heart soared.

“Noon it is. I’ll see you there.” Regina hesitated. “And - I can’t wait to see you too, Em-ma.” She said honestly.

The pair said goodbye and Regina sighed with relief after she hung up the phone. Regina immediately got to work planning lunch. Since the Met was right at the corner of Central Park, Regina figured they could have a picnic. She would need to find a blanket somewhere. And then she needed to figure out what to bring for lunch. She figured she’d stop by “Emma’s” café and grab her favorite drink – a hot chocolate with cinnamon on top. But what to eat?

Regina immediately recalled what Emma used to order consistently at Granny’s, and grilled cheese was the first thing that came to mind. While Granny’s just had the basic sandwich, Regina had heard of such a thing called a _gourmet_ grilled cheese, that included all kinds of additional ingredients. Regina did some research and of course found nearly a half-dozen places throughout the city. To her pleasant surprise, she found a grilled cheese food truck that parked in Central Park. It was on the same side of the park just a few blocks down, so Regina figured she’d be able to spend the morning walking around the park, which was on her list anyway. 

Regina got dressed and ready for the day, deciding that sitting on a blanket on the grass called for her to break out the new jeans that she purchased earlier in the week. She idly tried to recall if _her_ Emma had ever seen her wearing jeans, and she realized she probably hadn’t.

On her way out the door, she grabbed a clean blanket from the front desk of her hotel and made her way to the café to grab herself a coffee and Emma her hot chocolate. She made her way to Central Park with plenty of time to spare. As she walked up Fifth Avenue sipping her coffee, Regina stopped at a number of statues and small ponds, again enjoying the people-watching. She came across a pond with a ton of people and small children gathered around it, and realized they were sailing small remote-controlled, wind-powered model sailboats. She sat and watched for a few minutes, thinking immediately about how much Henry probably would have liked doing this. She wondered if Emma had ever taken him.

Regina finally made her way to the grilled cheese truck, where there was a short line. Regina’s own mouth watered a little bit as she reviewed the menu. She ultimately decided to get Emma a grilled cheese that included pulled BBQ pork, mac and cheese, and pepper jack cheese on white bread. She ordered herself one with roasted apples, crumbled bacon, and cheddar on wheat. Briefly realizing Emma’s hot chocolate might be cool by the time they actually sat down, she grabbed a couple of root beers for them as well.

Regina arrived on the steps of the Met at 11:55am, trying to tamper down the nervous energy running through her veins. Within minutes, Regina spotted the blonde emerging from the double doors and nearly gasped. Emma was in full uniform; black dress pants and a black blazer, with a white button-down shirt and a black tie underneath it. It immediately reminded Regina of Emma’s sheriff’s uniform (that she rarely wore) back in Storybrooke, only this was much fancier. Heat settled in Regina’s stomach. Emma in a uniform did things to her. She couldn’t stop staring as Emma approached her with a giant grin.

“Regina.” Emma greeted, her eyes twinkling. “Hi.” She said, suddenly a bit shy under Regina’s gaze.

“Em-ma.” Regina replied warmly. “Shall we?” She motioned with her hand toward the bottom of the steps. “This is for you,” she added, almost as an afterthought, as she handed Emma her hot chocolate.

Emma took a sip and looked at Regina with her mouth slightly ajar. “I can’t believe that you noticed that I ordered my hot chocolate with cinnamon that day.” She looked at Regina with a perplexed (but pleased) expression. Regina smiled almost shyly in response, but said nothing.

Emma removed her blazer and folded it over her arms as they walked down the steps. Regina led Emma to a grassy area of the park around the corner from the museum. She set her bag down, then laid out a blanket. Emma set her blazer down and began rolling up the sleeves of her shirt. Then she grabbed her collar and twisted it back and forth a bit, loosening her tie. Regina’s mouth went dry and it was could do to tear her eyes away from the woman. Finally, Regina sat down.

“So, what’s for lunch?” Emma asked with a smile.

Regina pulled out the two grilled cheese sandwiches wrapped in paper and the root beers. She handed Emma her sandwich. “Open it and find out.”

“Regina, _oh my god._ ” The blonde’s eyes went wide as she unfolded the paper to find the gourmet grilled cheese sandwich inside. “Grilled cheese is one of favorite foods on the planet.” She turned it in her hands and looked at it from all angles. “Does this have mac and cheese in it!?” She exclaimed excitedly and looked at Regina with wide eyes.

Regina’s entire face lit up at Emma’s reaction, and she didn’t even try to hold back the wide smile that she felt appearing. The brunette popped the tops of their root beers and handed Emma hers. “I just had a feeling you might like it.” 

The moan Emma released as she took her first bite made Regina’s ears tinge pink and her heart rate speed up. She desperately wanted to hear it again, and she couldn’t help but imagine other things Regina could do to make the blonde moan like that. She tried to will away those thoughts, taking her first bite of her own sandwich. It really was incredible.

Emma had already wolfed down half of her sandwich. She took a sip of her root beer and leaned back on her hands, her feet spread out straight in front of her, and watched Regina thoughtfully. “I can’t believe you did all this for me.” Emma admitted softly when Regina caught her staring.

Regina looked back at her, not knowing what to say. “Yes, well…” Regina trailed off. “Thanks for spending your short lunch break with me.”

“I wish I didn’t have to go so soon.” Emma frowned and looked at her watch. “What are you doing for the rest of the day?”

“I don’t really have anything planned. I walked around the park a little bit before I grabbed our lunch, but I’d like to see a bit more of it. It is much larger than I had imagined.”

Emma nodded as she finished chewing a bite of her sandwich. “I know, it’s huge. When my son was young, I’d take him to the Ramble, and he always called it a forest. He used to play that we were in a completely different land, one that had magic.” She chuckled before continuing. “He’d beg me to take him all over Central Park, from the butterfly gardens in the north, to the zoo, to the boat pond, and back again.” Emma recalled the memories with a smile on her face. Regina watched wistfully, and when Emma glanced at her she saw an unreadable expression on her face. She realized she was rambling. “He does have good taste, though. Those are some of the best places in the park. Plus Strawberry Fields, obviously. Anyway, you should check them out if you haven’t yet.” Emma said seriously.

Regina fought to keep the sadness from showing on her face. While she was glad to hear that Henry had a good childhood with Emma – which is what she wanted, and what she gave them on purpose – hearing about it made her ache deep in her bones. Their lives sounded so nice without her in it, and that tore her apart.

After a moment, she finally said, “Henry sounds like a kid with a great imagination. You’re a good mom.” Regina held eye contact with Emma for a moment.

“Thanks.” Emma mumbled and rubbed the back of her neck, seemingly uncomfortable with the praise, but still smiling softly at the memory of Henry. “If you don’t have any plans tonight…my son has a study group with some of his classmates tonight for a test on Friday.” She paused. “Can I take you out to dinner?”

Regina, still fidgeting absentmindedly and trying to take her mind of Henry and Emma’s life and happiness without her, looked back up at the blonde and suddenly beamed. Emma thought it was one of the most beautiful things she’d ever seen in her life. “Yes, I would love that.” Regina confessed.

Emma grinned back and the two silently held eye contact for a minute, just smiling at each other. Emma had felt never so immediately at ease around anyone in her life. She silently marveled at how being around Regina just _felt right_. The silence was both comfortable and intimate at the same time.

Regina was the first one to look away, and Emma didn’t fail to notice an almost imperceptible blush on the brunette’s cheeks. Regina looked at her watch and started cleaning up their lunch. “You should probably head back if you don’t want to be late. Your half hour is almost up.” Regina mentioned, looking a little disappointed. Emma sighed heavily and helped her pack up.

After they had folded the blanket and put it back in the bag, and deposited their trash and recycling, the women stared at each other again briefly, neither wanting to be the first to say goodbye.

Emma bounced on her heels, looking down at the ground and then back up at Regina with a hopeful look on her face. “Walk with me to the museum?” She bit her lip while waiting for Regina’s response.

Regina let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. She smiled with relief and nodded at Emma. Regina willfully ignored the part of her that told her she was being stupid, and instead embraced the part of her that savored every moment the blonde wanted her around.

The women made their way back to the steps of the Met. Emma put her blazer back and before she could stop herself, Regina reached forward and folded Emma’s collar back over the blazer. Then she fixed Emma’s tie, tightening it back up the way it was when she’d first stepped out of the museum. Emma held her breath, a little startled at the intimacy of the gesture. She felt her cheeks redden with Regina’s proximity and her eyes closed as the scent of Regina’s perfume wafted over her.

When Regina was finished, she looked into Emma’s eyes, which had reopened when she felt Regina’s hands stop moving. Emma’s pupils were blown, and her eyes a darker shade of green than just a minute before. Emma felt Regina’s eyes searching her own, but what she was looking for, Emma wasn’t sure.

Before Emma knew what was happening, Regina had taken a step back. She reached for Emma’s hand, the same as she did the last time they said goodbye, and squeezed it wordlessly. 

“Thank you again for lunch. So, tonight - I’ll pick you up at 8?” Emma somehow found the words to speak.

“See you at 8, Em-ma.” Regina smiled and Emma’s heart leaped. She grinned before turning around and heading up the stairs back to work. Regina watched Emma the whole way until disappeared behind the doors, all the while feeling like she was floating. 


End file.
